Ethan in Gold

I had never wanted to HUG someone as much as I wanted to hug Ethan and then I wanted to hug Jonah too for being so brave ...
If you have ever go to a trauma in your life ... Ethan will make more sense to you ... His needs ... His fragility ... His heart ...
Jonah ... What a gentle soul ... Brave too ... Lovable person who knew exactly what Ethan and his own family needed.
This is one of the best series I have read. Amy Lane is a brilliant writer.
Black John can not be here soon enough ...

I was so excited to return to the world of Johnnie's, mainly because I really needed to see all of my guys again. Chase, Tommy, David, and Carlos are always there, in the back of my mind. Sometimes I'll find myself in that place between wake and sleep, wondering about them. How is Chase's therapy going? And, Carlos, what new critter has he brought home to tend? And, yes, before you ask. I am fully aware that these are fictional characters and that the Queen of Angst, herself, Amy Lane, conjured them to life. Doesn't mean I don't love them. Doesn't mean I haven't cried for them or worried over them. If I can't have an imagination and a fantasy life, then what's the purpose of all the ugly that happens every day? This author brings the ugly to my doorstep, and she and I, we harbor the good, the life, the love, while never forgetting the ugly exists.
From the very first page, I was captured by Evan. How could I not be? Whose heart couldn't ache at the story of a five-year-old, molested by the teacher's aide? Although, the fact his mother never hugged him after finding out, I felt, was almost worse than the molestation. They sent him to a psychiatrist, but the family seemed to just want to bury the whole thing, as if it never happened. And by the time Evan was twelve, all he really wanted was a hug, just some physical touch that his soul was crying for. He found it, in an unlikely place at school, with the anime kids who read all the same manga and comics that Evan did, and the girls loved to hug him. In exchange, Evan bulked up and became their enforcer against the other kids who ridiculed them. And it was there, with his friends, that Evan learned that looks don't mean anything, and money doesn't matter, but hugs from his friends? Priceless.
Unfortunately, for Evan, high school doesn't last forever, and friends, no matter how close, leave and go to college or elsewhere. So here is Evan, three months into community college with such horrible skin hunger he could barely breathe. And that's when he finds the online application for Johnnies, and Evan becomes aka Ethan. Where he thinks he's died and gone to heaven with all the guys willing to touch him. Not to mention, he finally gets to have sex with guys, instead of pretending to be bisexual so his friends would still like him.
Jonah is a twenty-two year old virgin who lives at home with his mom and little sister. His sister has cystic fibrosis so his mom works for the health insurance, and Jonah works to pay for most everything else. He can't believe it when he meets Ethan, this gorgeous god, who came in to his work in support of his friend, Tommy, who was applying for a job. Because this time period is right after Chase hurt himself, and all of the guys at Johnnies are rotating shifts to help be there for Tommy. And, that's another reason I wanted back to these guys so badly. Every book shows me a little something new about all these guys.
What's even worse is watching the utter devastation that Evan's mother has put him and his four older sisters, and even his dad, through ever since Evan was five years old. The woman has become more and more evil and bitter, eschewing all men as molesters or out for something. It's no wonder two of Evan's sisters have spent their years doing drugs and any guy they could. His mother is an evil, evil, crone. It all comes to a head, when Evan gets inadvertently outed in front of his mom and sisters. Which, actually, is good in that he can finally say the things he wants to his mom and he can leave, but bad because he feels like his sisters need to get away, too.
\"Damn. He didn't understand family, this pretty, pretty house in Folsom with the leather furniture and the new carpeting - a different set every two years - and the grown children who should have fled a long time ago, trapped, like spiders under a rock.\"
Evan drops Tommy off at work and runs into Jonah in the parking lot, and through an offhand comment discovers they both love anime, manga, Yaoi, etc., which begins a tentative friendship. They spend some time together and go to comic book shops, and movies, and slowly begin to share about themselves. But, Evan is afraid of telling Jonah about Johnnies, he doesn't want to lose his friend. Except Evan is starting to notice what a great smile Jonah has, and what a good person he is, and how loving and loyal he is. But Evan does everything he can to push Jonah as far away as possible, which doesn't always work.
\"Why are you doing this?\"
\"Because I don't have 'whore' tattooed on my ass, but I should. I need some better way to scare you off.\"
Jonah is smart though, and he's not letting Evan run away from him. Listening to Tommy and his friends who come in to pick him up, it dawns on Jonah that there's something odd about all of these people having two names. The Internet is a mighty handy invention, though, and it doesn't take Jonah long to find Johnnies site, and watching Evan's interview \"scene\" he's struck by the very disturbing notion that Evan needs this, he needs the touch for his soul. The confrontation between Jonah and Evan about Johnnies is heartbreaking, soul wrenching, skin meltingly tender and angry and so heartfelt that I, literally, buried my face in my dog's fur and sobbed. And, even that wasn't the worst, as tragedy struck Jonah and his family.
\"You're my lifeline, Ethan. You're the only thing that's going to get me through. The light at the end of the tunnel. My reward for not hiding in a corner and crying like....like....\" Like a five year old boy who just lost the baby sister they put in his arms and told him to love very, very carefully.\"
In case I've given the wrong impression, this entire book is not doom and gloom. There are a few very memorable, laugh-out-loud, moments beginning with the fact that this author knows the best blasphemous expressions around. And, no, I'm not putting it in my review. There was a conversation between Jonah and his dad about sex and Evan that likened it to an Easter basket, chocolate bunnies, and jelly beans, that had me rolling. And, I can now add Evan and Jonah to my list of characters I love and a book worth re-reading. These guys, their issues, their love of one another, their friendship, and the hope they bring to each other will live forever and I'll keep seeing them in my dreams. Thank you, Amy, for giving me the dreams and sharing them with me.

Overall
A long story that is worth taking your time with to savor the ups and downs of Evan’s and Jonah’s lives. Gobbling it all down at once may seem like a good idea, but may result in a Thanksgiving-gorge-like hangover.
Review
This story runs somewhat parallel to Chase in Shadow and Dex in Blue, and while each story stands alone, the reader would be better served by reading them in order.
First, a warning: The Johnnies stories tend to run long because of the issues that are handled and the number of events that have to appear as the stories crossover. I still feel the stories are longer than strictly necessary, but I also understand why they're so long, and I enjoy them enough that the length doesn't bother me (except when I'm kept up reading when I should be going to bed).
Because much of the same content is covered in each story, it's commendable how Lane handles the plot points that overlap--hitting major points without rehashing everything, but yet giving the reader adequate information if they haven't read the previous novels. She also develops the events from different perspectives, turning events that may not have been as emotional into a poignant moment.
Ethan/Evan is my favorite of the boys so far, because of his reasons for getting into porn, his general personality, and his relationship with Jonah (the first to be outside the business). Plus, his need to be touched speaks deeply to me.
He's a likeable character and dips into some nerdy elements (or perhaps I should say different nerdy elements, since Kane and his reptiles were pretty nerdy!). The conversations about anime and manga was appreciated (although that element faded as the story went on), although I wasn’t familiar with the particular pieces that were mentioned, so they may have been faulty.
Evan’s story, like most of the Johnnies boys, is a tough one (although none really compares to Chase’s). He had a crappy childhood, and although he’s tough, and he recognizes that, he still has a low self-esteem. Or more like he doesn’t want to bother/sully the people around him whom he loves. It’s commendable, although many readers (like Jonah) will want to smack him for it.
And of course Jonah has his own struggles to handle as well, both familial and in courting the stubborn Ethan. These are two sweet boys who grow together and together overcome great obstacles.
Another fantastic Johnnies’ tale.