Aaron

Ohhh…my feelings…

Aaron is broken. He didn’t see a way out of his state of mind. After the trauma he suffers from the kidnapping of him and his best friend, Jessica, he feels his life is over.

He’s now in the second year of his hell. He doesn’t function at all. His room is his safe haven until it’s not. He can’t get out of the bed when it’s cloudy, but he tries his best when the day starts as a sunny day. And when he says he tries, what he really means is that he gets up to take a shower in the mirrorless bathroom. He can’t stand the sight of himself. He wears his scars as much on the inside as much as on the outside.

Spencer has a very healthy sexual drive. However, the problem is that his partners run out on him as soon they find out he’s deaf. So he finds some release online, where he keeps numerous chat partners. He’s also worried for his father, who finds his solace at the bottom of the bottle, lately. Spencer is helpless and desperately tries to find a way to help his beloved father.

Aaron has triggers—triggers that cause him flashbacks to that terrible night. He can’t stand others, nor crowded places, nor noises, nor smells, nor touches, not even from his lovely mother. After he listened to his parents fighting and he learns that they may institutionalize him, he gives into his mother’s insistence and signs up for college.

It’s there he mets Spencer, and they are assigned as project partners. But things are not as simple as I described for either Spencer or Aaron.

This is another tear-jerking story, and if you are easily triggered, please read it with caution, but even with that, I highly recommend it!

I have mixed feelings about this story. It is a good story and it is well written. It had me at the edge of my seat more than once but it wasn't the romance I was expecting. It is a story of healing not just for Aaron but for Spencer's dad as well who begins his own journey to recovery while helping Aaron. Aaron's parents while understandably upset also seem to be a contradiction they want Aaron to move forward and be less dependent but then when he does take steps on his own they seem to through up a huge stumbling block in his way almost tanking all the good that has been happening. At the end of the book it is clear that Aaron still has a long way to go in his recovery. It is also clear that Spenser really cares about Aaron he is young not completely ready to deal with all the ramifications of a relationship will bring. Since this book is the first in a series I feel that this will be an ongoing part of the story.

Overall I \"enjoyed\" the book - as much as you can enjoy a story with such a content. This review is spoilerish btw, even though I don't say much more than is already given away by the blurb and things that happen early in the book. Still, a warning never hurts :-)
Aaron is a broken boy after he had to go through the worst thing I can think of. Not only were he and his best friend Juliette attacked and tortured, no, he also had to witness how Juliette was killed afterwards. Since then he's suffering from PTSD, has panic attacks and is barely able anymore to function like a \"normal\" human being.
Then he meets Spencer, deaf since birth who has his own share of problems, like a dead mother, an alcoholic father and of course what comes with being deaf in a hearing world. Though I have to say that he manages everything quite graciously.
Anyway, they meet and after some ups and downs become friends, later fall in love and of course that causes more problems.
There were some things I didn't like in this book, Spencer's father being an alcoholic yet still becoming Aaron's shrink being one of them. I'm happy for Aaron that he still was able to help Aaron as much as that's possible, but it was also a bit hard to believe that Spence's dad was THE ONE AND ONLY who was able to help him. But then again I'm no psychologist, have no idea of that topic, so maybe that's possible? And after all, this book is fiction, so I can overlook that.
There were other things that disturbed me a bit, but I won't count them all now, because like I said, all in all I liked this book :-). It was wonderful to see Aaron start to live his life again and starting to trust Spencer

Aaron is broken and scarred - physically and emotionally. He has been living in a haze for two years. He has been merely been existing, the boy he used to be is gone, and only a shell of a young man exists. Scared, plagued by nightmares and disgusted with his appearance he believes he is a burden and that he should have died on that horrendous night. His family is the only security he knows even of he doesn't interact with them fully. He lives within himself - with guilt, shame and pain. He has lost hope and only when he thinks he might be sent away from the only safe haven he knows does he take a step towards living his life. He reluctantly decides to take a programming class, thinking that maybe if he made a big enough effort his parents wouldn't send him away.
Spencer is deaf since birth. His life has been filled with taunts and bullying because of his disability. He puts on a strong front, but underneath it all his loneliness overwhelms him. He just wants to be accepted and to find someone to connect with. He tries different methods, from online hook-ups to fast and quiet encounters, but it all leads to emptiness. He feels alone, more so now that his father has started drinking heavily, cutting away any ties he had with his son. He is looking forward to college, since it will occupy his mind.
Aaron and Spencer are brought together as partners for a programming project.To say that Aaron was overwhelmed with the news would be an understatement. But after careful planning and a lot of understanding from Spencer and his professor, they start the project. Overtime, they develop a friendship based on acceptance and mutual understanding that leads them to become emotionally involved.
Aaron and Spencer's journey is filled with emotions so deep that at times I had to step away. The magnitude of Aaron's suffering was overwhelming, his pain and struggle with everything he went through was horrible to read, but so, so amazingly written. And Spencer's need to connect was so very palpable that I just wanted to hold him and never let him go. J.P. Barnaby did an amazing job with this story. She managed to bring each and every emotion and the characters' inner struggles to the page in a way that made it easy for me to open my heart to them. I especially enjoyed the way she presented the characters' interactions through email, IM and texts. It made it the story and these characters feel very real to me. They developed and grew into themselves in front of my eyes with each word I read. My favorite moments are the tender ones where the hesitation was paralyzing, the insecurity palpable and the affection abundant. Well done, JP Barnaby!
I tend to go for the emotion-driven books and this book did not disappoint. I don't know if there will be another book about Aaron and Spencer, but I will sure like it to be. The way the book ended was lovely but I can't help but to want more.

Looking for a stock tip? Check out any company that makes Kleenex.
I found the story to be beyond heart wrenching. The characters, especially Aaron and Spencer, are very real. I was drawn in to their world and, as hard as it was to stay sometimes, I didn't want to leave.