I'm sure it's no secret that I'm a big fan of Amy Lane's and I basically love everything she writes. A lot of her books are comfort reads and all of them are rereads for me. She has this way of really understanding people and what makes them tick, while simultaneously bringing the very best they have to offer to the light. Her writing is what I call real, because not once have I ever felt any dialogue she's written to be stilted or fake, or any angst and emotions to seem less than what they are. With all of that said, 'Behind the Curtain' was a journey for me into the lives of two men. One was sweet, clumsy, goofy, adorable, a little bossy, and very well loved. The other was alone, arrogant, shy, lonely, vulnerable, and learned early that the only love he got was when he danced and danced well. It's a real story by a real author.
Dawson is a clumsy theater tech geek and I loved him for it. In fact, he may just be the clumsiest person I've ever met. His best friend since kindergarten, Benji, is Dawson's brother of his heart and his home, for lack of a better word, but Dawson's empire is the community college's theater. As a theater tech geek, Dawson reigns supreme, and it is also where he isn't clumsy or awkward, well, unless he's practically falling on Jared's head. *smirk* Which in his defense was Benji's fault anyway. It was to be expected though for Dawson to be a little nervous because Jared is a famous dancer for the LA Ballet. A famous dancer who comes across as an arrogant asshole in their first couple of meetings, until Dawson glimpses beneath the stoic facade and sees a very lonely man.
I watched the magic happen when they fell in love over dinner at Denny's. And it was magical as they shared how they ended up in theater and dance, and how Dawson has always had his dad and Benji but Jared hasn't been home or seen his family since he was fourteen and went to dance school and he really misses his little sister who has Down syndrome. Jared's parents won't accept him being gay and keep him away from his sister out of spite. They talk about sex and how Dawson came out and how Jared lost his virginity to another dancer in a bathroom and that Dawson is a virgin. That kind of conversation, where you bare parts of your soul, is the true magic of love.
\"When I sleep with someone, I need it to mean something. I need to know someone would look me in the eye and be there the next day, and the next week, and the next month. I'm not stupid~ I know it doesn't always mean forever, but you have to at least think it could be forever. There's a possibility of forever before you even touch, or you're just touching to hurt yourself. I can't be just a quick fuck in the bathroom.\"
And even though Jared lives in West Hollywood and Dawson is in Rocklin, they text and e-mail, and get together whenever Jared has days off in a row. The long-distance relationship sucks and Dawson starts to realize he doesn't really know or understand what the life is that Jared returns to. But he begins to get glimpses like when he finds out the stage manager's first aid kit contains cocaine so the dancers can always dance no matter how sick or injured they are, and that his agent and manager don't care how bad Jared's knee is getting. I really hated those people by the end. But Dawson and Jared make a plan and one more year for Jared and he can go out while he's still on top. The best laid plans of mice and men....
How did my journey go into the lives of Dawson and Jared? Excellent. Nary a bump in the road, except for the ones I was expecting. Dawson impressed the hell out of me. He could be bossy and pushy but since he did it because he knew no one else would on behalf of Jared, then I was right there with him hollering away. Jared broke my heart with his loneliness and vulnerability. In the beginning I thought he was the grown-up, but it turned out that person was hiding inside Dawson all along.
\"'You're wrong,' Dawson said, with as much dignity as he'd ever had. 'He's got so much more - we've got so much more to do. If you manage to keep him doped up and shove him on the stage and he fucks himself up permanently, he'll still have me to fall back on. Don't you get it? You think you have him until he's used up, and then you can throw him away. I'm the one who knows you'll be throwing away the best parts and those are who I want. But he's too strong for that, too strong for you. You won't be able to throw him away, because he won't let you. I've got faith in my boy. He's going to make me proud.'\"
Along with this beautiful story of Dawson and Jared, Amy Lane gave me these fantastic secondary characters, people whom I wanted to hang out with just as much as I did the main characters. In this book there are several: Benji, Dawson's best friend, Darian, Benji's girlfriend, Amber, Goth girl soundboard tech, who ends up living on their couch, and, Stan, Dawson's dad. I had all these amazing quotes picked out to showcase each of these people, and show my love for the whole story, and then I realized - forget it. Read the book. Get to know them all on your own. I did. And, I loved every minute of the ride.
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